A TOTAL SMUDGE FIRE
This is a SECRET SOCIETY
Good morning, whenever you are.
I have a secret message for you at the top of the stairs, but first, some public information written to you from a humid-damp kitchen table in the state of Maine.
Tomorrow, which is Thursday, I will be spending the afternoon at WERU community radio here in Maine where I will go LIVE with your friend JORDAN MORRIS to HAM IT UP.
This will only happen ONCE, so please join us HERE.
Speaking of JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN, you will remember that we are going on tour this fall, and tickets are selling fast across this nation and one city in Canada.
JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN: ROAD COURT is going to be one metric tonne of funne, and it’s always better when you’re there, so please go HERE.
And speaking of TOURS and MAINE, the greatest MARC EVAN JACKSON is doing IMPROV in BAR HARBOR of all places with the equally greatest MATT WALSH.
This is a rare opportunity to see two of the most world class comedic brains (protected by two of the very best foreheads) in a historic old movie theater in a picturesque town in a haunted state. So you should THERE by clicking HERE.
Last weekend we drove to Ellsworth to go to dinner with my father-in-law and his wife.
I don’t love to reveal exactly where I am in Maine, but I will name Ellsworth, for everyone in the world knows ELLSWORTH, the gateway to Acadia National Park, home of the region’s only known Wendy’s, which stands at the crest of a strip-malled collision of Routes 1, 1A, and 3, what my father-in-law calls HELLSWORTH.
It’s true that stretch of road is a place where people stop briefly and move on quickly, to stock up on the way to better places, or to take care of grim errands.
It’s gas stations and two super markets and a minute clinic. Tire repair and oil changes and car washes. A revived Pizza Hut and a dead Burger King and a new hibachi place that used to be the Denny’s. The Mos Eisley of Down East.
But it has a really nice historic downtown that everyone will tell you is “doing better.” And of course it’s the home of my favorite bowling alley in the world, Ellsworth Candlepin Bowling, FKA D’Amandas. They have a new website, and you can visit and learn more about the extraordinary owner and sole employee Autumn HERE.
I even love the strip mall section. IMO at worst it is PURGATORYSWORTH. Two years ago I had to drive there every week to get covid tested to stay in compliance with UP HERE shooting regulations. It was always quiet, and the people at the ConvenientMD were always nice, and it made me feel cared for.
And last weekend, as I said, we had 90 minutes to kill before dinner, so we spent it at Renys, a department store that bills itself “A Maine Adventure,” which is absolutely accurate.
